Evil Dead (2013)

                                             Except not

It is so easy these days to cast aside remakes being a veteran horror fan. Now when I say I'm a veteran horror fan, I do not mean I know more than most. Hell, I'm still learning so much about the classics. But I have been a fan almost my entire life. The Evil Dead series is a must for any fan seeking out all their horror fantasies. Amateur stylize directing, tons of over the top gore, stop motion. They are just down right fun! The series found this perfect blend of frightful scares and hilarity. When you try and remake something like this in the 21st century, it's not easy and you will not please everyone.

Remakes come from all shapes and sizes. For instance...

Dawn of the Dead - The team at STRIKE took the simple elements of zombies in a mall and ran with it.
Halloween - Rob Zombie told an origin story while at the same time telling the same story we already knew.
Nightmare on Elm St. - Platinum Dunes told the same story and just updated the characters.

I would say the 2013 Evil Dead falls somewhere between Halloween and Nightmare's concepts. And that made me sad. I was hoping for something fresh. Something new brought the the series. A film that really got under my skin and made me scared. Now I can go on and say that I'm a jaded horror fan and that nothing scares me anymore, but I know that isn't true. Evil Dead is in no way scary. In fact the only thing that made the audience jump was the Ghost House Pictures logo at the start of the film because everyone was on the edge of the their seats ready for a frightfest.

     Hey did you know this scene isn't even in the actual movie?

I had so many problems with this movie BECAUSE I enjoy the original so much. The deadites (possessed humans) looked terrifying in Raimi's film. In this they are just cut up with a green filter overlaying the picture. There are other detailed aspects like the tree rape scene and the book of the dead that I'd like to get into, but I do not want to spoil the film here for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Just know that love and labor is there for horror fans. This film is soaked in blood (50,000 gallons of blood to be exact) and gore from head to toe. I'm surprised it made it to theaters! The film has little to no CG effects like promised and the make up department did a fantastic job. But I wanted more from an updated Evil Dead film then gore. The subtle humor is there. (Duct tape anyone?) But it's not enough to help me care for the bland performance from some of the characters we are supposed to care for.

Honestly if I was just getting into the horror craze and saw this film, I'd love it. But I'm not. I didn't expect the same 1980's films at all. I just wanted to be terrified by the movie. I wanted to run and tell all my friends that Evil Dead is back and it is horrifying! Instead, I'm telling you all that this movie is missing some major key elements to making this a great horror picture. And from what I hear, a good 15 minutes was cut from the final product. Will that really make this a better movie? Probably not. But it's something. Hopefully we will get an unrated cut on bluray soon and I'm anxious for that. Evil Dead is in no ways a bad horror film. It's just not the Evil Dead I wanted.


I'm giving Evil Dead (2013)...